rejecting Vampirism by Lady CG

BUT.. I Don't WANT to be Vampyre! (Rejecting Vampyrism)

"...its not scientifically proven..."
"its too rpgish!"
"it affects my life in a negative manner..."
"Its too hard!"

I"ve been hearing it for many many years. Almost EVERY vamp goes through it at some point.. they TRY to QUIT being a vampyre...
I understand how it goes.. I've even tried it myself, for a number of years.
So... what do I tell Vampyres who come to me and say they are not going to be a vampyre anymore? I tell them the same thing I tell people who want to know if they NEED blood. I tell them to go ahead and try.
Why do I tell them that?

In my experience, if you are a non-vamp and want to try blood, a rare steak will NOT do anyone any harm. (Its what I always recomend new vamps to try FIRST) Literally MILLIONS of people like their steaks rare and blue rare.. not all of them are vampyres, and I dont' know of anyone who has become ill from eating a good rare steak from an inspected source. If the person is NOT a vampyre it will not do them any harm, nor will it do them any vampyric good... if the person IS a vampyre, they often know right away if it helps them.

The same applies to NOT drinking blood, or trying to STOP being a vampyre... If they are NOT a real vampyre, a person SHOULD be able to walk away from blood drinking and not look back.
If the person really IS a vampyre, they will know within a few months if they actually NEED blood to be healthy. If they are FINE without blood, chances are they are not and never really were a Sanguine Vampyre.

If you are going thorugh this phaze, my advice to you is:
TRY abstenance.
Watch for any and all signs of becoming emotionally unstable.
Watch for any and all signs of becoming physically weak, constantly sick or apathetic.
IF you dont' have any trouble with leaving it all behind, and remain healthy, happy and stable, RUN as far away from the vamp communities as you can and stay away.
You do not need the OVC if you are NOT a vampyre.
Feel free to find a place you really DO belong!

If, on the other hand, you find yourself becoming apathetic, extremely ill, raging over a thirst you can not cure with water.... GO SEE A DOCTOR... if the Doctor can not help you, go back to trying rare steaks and see if you feel better in a week..

There is a great deal more to Sanguinarian Vampyrism than just the need for Blood... Unfortunately its the need for blood that tends to make our lives unnecessarily difficult.

If you find you NEED blood, and it is creating difficulties in your life I stongly suggest that you take up loving blue rare steaks. Some people are grossed out by rare steak.. but most people realize that it is not abnormal to like them. As a waitress for many years, rare steak was the 2nd most popular way to order a steak cooked. The first is medium rare. Family and friends are very unlikely to abuse you much, or think it terribly odd if you develop a taste for getting your blood this way. No its not the way we crave it.. but it IS an easy way to deal with being a vampyre, when a need for blood causes difficulities for a vampyre with friends and or family.

No responsible person in the vamp communities will ever encourage a NON-VAMP to think or believe they are Sanguine if the person in question believe they are NOT a Vampyre.
If Anyone TRIES to push the belief that you are a vampyre ON you.. leave the community immediately. The things that are good and healthy and applicable to vampyres are often NOT good or applicable for a non-vamp and thus "playing vampyre" can do you more harm than good both physically AND mentally.

Balance comes when a person, ANY PERSON accepts who and what they truly are.
Very little good comes from trying to be someone or something you are NOT.

Sometimes it takes YEARS to come to term with and come to understand what it means to truly BE vampyric... For those of us who are, it takes patience, and a lot of trial and error. Don't worry! IF you ARE a vampyre, it will not go away. If you ARE NOT a vampyre it was never really there in the first place and you will never go through the stages an changes that real sanguine vampyres have to deal with.

Be patient with yourself. You have your whole life ahead of you to figure it all out. Hopefully, by then, the Community will have even better help and information than it does now, since research into vampyrism is ongoing.
We are the first generation to really keep records of what we are and what kind of changes we go through. We are learning more about our state of being EVERYDAY. Hopefully a time will come when we will have answers for everyone..
Till then we'll just continue to muddle through it together.

Carpe Noctum
Lady CG
copyright 2005

[Eclecta]

Ya know, I wish that would work for me... eating rare steak...

Unfortunately, it doesn't. I have no need for dead blood. It simply doesn't do anything for me. I have no idea why...

If I can't consume it from the source at the time, I may as well wipe it up and slap a bandaid on it. It simply won't do... Fresh or none works for me.

To those of you whom this works for: Consider yourselves lucky...

[Camazotz]

I think it's important to note that denial isn't just something that occurs for sangs and that walking away isn't an option for psis anymore than it is for sangs. We all NEED the energy and if you don't consciously choose to partake of it you'll either a) get sick, b) subconsciously feed or c) a combination of both.

Especially in the case of psis a decision to stop consciously feeding can lead to the subconscious but extremely harmful draining of those around them- sadly generally those people whom are held dearest to their hearts.

Cama

The person who wrote this article is a sang, and wrote it from her POV and based on her resaearch and observations.

Personally, I agree, psi or sang, or elemental, walking waway from vampirism (or any kin archtype) really just isn't an option.

[Camazotz]

Indeed... sorry wasn't knocking the article, it's great.. just a lot of times people forget that things do apply to us all.

You're posting some wonderful stuff, heh I shall have to steal your library lol

Cama

LOL *points to her bulging three bookeshelves (only three shelves each though..they're not HUGE bookshelves LOL ) PLUS whats on my harddrive lol. My Mate hkeeps harassing me to get rid at some of it, and I refuse LOL

[Camazotz]

bumpy bump

[Vicereine]

mmm interesting take.

Personally I like rare steak. I find it satisfying to eat. It awakens primal drives in me, the same as eating with my hands or out doors. BBQ'ing or cooking potatos in fire etc etc.. soup from an earthen bowl. All these things tap me into times gone by and, lets face it, im a sensualist. Texture and experience matter to me in a high level. However, as a vampiric soul, rare steak does not really fulfil energy needs. It does seem to enable to me to tap into the more primal/therian side of myself which in turn seems to access my higher minded side. Its difficult to place. Suffice to say its one of those things that provides a portal through ritual behaviour to access different aspects of self.

As far as running away from vampirism is concerned. For me, as i go through life, experience draws into myself new understanding and new perspectives. In short, I evolve as a person. I take all things with me from the past, I learn from the present and invest in the future.

No one person stays the same, but that does not negate the parts of them that were closer to the fore in times before.

In short. I may not be as tied in with the practicing vampirism as I was, but i do not denounce it, deny it or refute it. It is , was and always will be a part of who I am.

its not something you can walk away from. Over time though, it may be something that appears to be less pronounced in your day to day living. Dependant on what path you are taking of course. This is purely my experience, and obviously does not hold for everyone.

[ErrantKnight]

At the risk of appearing to follow people here... I am in agreement on the rare-steak comment (the consumption of which being most satisfying)... I am also something of a sensualist, and while plunking down a piece of bloody meat in front of me is tantalizing... so, too, must the rest of the experience follow suit. Energy... that is derived from proximity to others, I can either be borne up or crushed down by the power of their emotions...

I do not know that I can lay specific claim to anything truly vampyric... I know the things I've dabbled in in the past and am having some difficulty separating myself from fantasy. "Is this truly me or am I aspiring to be something I'm not?", all the while, impulses and urges from something deeper within me seem to point in this direction.

I used to bite necks and other areas typically associated with the act (wrists, anywhere arterial and where sensitive nerve endings cluster in abundance)... some as a part of the dance of seduction, some as just horsing around... when the passion is driven right, it still happens... very rarely to the point of drawing blood, but should it occur, I do not shrink back from it. I do not, however, feel that I cannot live without it. But, try to take away my steaks, we'll have words, of that you can be sure...

There is much I am still trying to understand within myself, what the nature of my hunger is... I do know that I can draw to some degree from others. It is instinctual, the beginnings of conscious control of that are starting to manifest.

It is interesting to note that when I have attempted to shelve these aspects of my life, is when people around me noticed me becoming more...listless and dull. I do not broadcast the research into this aspect, this is one of a few I am beginning to look into now.

and, I have no idea if anything I've said thus far has any relevance or will help to further the conversation, or if it's just mindless rambling based on something somebody else said and I'm just running with it.... LOL

[Camazotz]

A lot easier said than done of course, but what will help you eventually find your answers is some soul-searching to seperate what you "can" do from what you "need"... Whilst there is no one universal definition of vampirism to which everyone agrees, for most the factor of "need" is pivotal.

Furthering this is also the question of what one is "accustomed" to- which may affect one's mood or performance, but bear no relation to need... for example, if I'm used to eating organic fruit and vegetables and balanced meals and then start eating junk food all day- I'll still be getting the calories which I "need", but feel worse because it's not what I'm accustomed to. To flip that around, whilst the organic food is healthier, if one has been raised on junk the better food might feel like one is being deprived of fun, and take much time to realise the benefit. So, if you're used to pulling in energy it is natural that you would feel lower without it, but it may or may not indicate that you "need" to.

Not sure if that will help or hinder, but keep searching..the only risk is failing to try.