Please Help

[dreamguardian1]

So i am back in school bout my life is totally out of control, im absorbing too much and its not good things im absorbing, doctors hav eme on 22 medications a day with absolutly no diagnosis. If i told my doctor about my psychic abilities id be locked up in a psych ward. Including Vicodin 5/500 every 4 hours. Xrays all tests show nothing but im in constant body pain, there are days when i cannot even get out of bed.

I know whats wrong but i cant stop it. Preist or someone please email me at raquelambersantiago@yahoo.com.

Honestly I cant take much more of this be better off...

i cant stop feeding psychically, its like its growing inside me stronger and i cant control what, how, when.

Two weeks ago i went to Golden Gate park at around 10 Pm and walked through there till about 3 Am and it felt so good, felt rejuvenated.the problem is getting up the energy to even get there. And that only last me about 8 hours before that energy was gone.

Its not just me feeding thats the problem I can project my bad feelings to someone else and make them get sick afraid to touch anyone. I have read and read and reread the psychic feeding postings but its no use. Evertyime i walk outside i look around and everything is moving in slow motion, i hear 20 thousand frigging things at once, it can get overwhelming. I can sense what others are feeling and draw it into me when close enough, get four people in an office with me and its hell on wheels for my body.

But there was this one, this one i couldnt sense couldnt feel anything it was like he wasnt even there. I was at the park walking though the paths past the duck pond and i saw him on the other side not far away from me as i passed him, there was nothing I couldnt sense what he was feeling but i saw him so I know he was there.

I cannot possibly explain in this one posting everything cause there is so much. Anyone, any ideas im desperate to not do something desperate. I have even started cutting again to feel something different, to see the blood flowing from my arms to FEEL something different other than what is going on.

[dreamguardian1]

On a plus note I am keeping up my strength best i can, like right now eating some lovely roast beef, dripping of course if this thing got any redder it would be alive hehe. Got a second cat so now i have two, though lately they been kinda hiding from me.

[shadow]

have they tested you for fibromialgia? I had a friend who had it and it was quite crippling at times, but her symptoms were the same as yours except for the feeding, but i guess that's because she wasnt a vamp....you may ask your doctor about it.

[dreamguardian1]

NO, thats one thing they havent tested me for although its a thought. Feeling a little better today, nauseous but pain gone course that has a lot to do with all the vicodin lol. But i did get out for a little while today.

[Alyushia]

My best advice is to always check for medical issues before anything else. If nothing is found, then you can explore the other issues.

[dreamguardian1]

Doctors are dumfounded at this point. His only suggestion is to put me on pain meds and he just looked at me and said
"Raquel i know you are not going to like what I am about to tell you but you just might have to face the fact that you might be in chronic pain for the rest of your life and be on pain killers." All i could do was look at him and i just wanted to cry. I mean I can barely get out of bed in the morning, walking tires me, if it wasnt for my promise to him not to OD on the pain killers id be long gone by now. I mean he literally made me swear to him that I wouldnt.

Now, i went and saw a chiropractor a few years ago and they stil had the X-rays and they said that the vertebrae in my neck were in stage 3 of 4 stages of fusing to gether and that there was a sublugation in my lower back the chiropracter said that he though i was 60 because of the way the bones were he had to look at my chart twice im only 29 (cough). But my Neurologist who sees me for my epilepsy told me not to go back to them cause it was dangerous to manually manipulate the neck. But when my MD got the X-Rays he said him and his colleagues looked over them and couldnt see anything so im confused. DO i ask them to have an orthopedic look at them?

[Lost]

There would be no harm in getting a second opinion, for most part an MD possesses a vast amount of knowledge across a broad spectrum of conditions as such when it comes to specialised areas things can sometimes be overlooked, if it is possible to get a radiology report or have an orthopedic specialist to look into it at least you may get confirmation one way or another.

[MLE]

My suggestion would be to start researching empathy, at least for the bit about feeling others and projecting your feelings to them.. As for the pain, the pain killers themselves can make it all worse and cause a good bit of the symptoms you are describing... I'm in no way saying that is all it is, but if its possible, you should try to take as lil of those things as you possibly can.. I spent quite a few years dealing with chronic pain, and most of that time I was on a strict regiment of 30 different types of pills.. I had to carry a seperate bag around just for meds, and that was if I was able to get out of bed.. After this went on for sometime and I did less and less for myself each day, I decided to quit as many of my meds as possible.. It was hell on earth for a bit, but eating lots of green leafy veggies and fresh fruit helped alot believe it or not.. I still have plenty of health/pain problems, but I'm no longer spending my days doped up and foggy headed..

Also I wouldn't put too much stock in what your dr. said about going to a chiropractor.. If you can find a good one that knows what they are doing it can be much healthier and safer than going to a regular dr.. Since I was a small child I have always gone to my chiropractor first and most times never even had to go to another doctor.. your nerves run all through your body, and through your spine. so if there is a problem with your spine it can pinch or put pressure on your nerves, which can do all kinds of things like make you feel sick to your stomach, or cause problems moving about. I would deffinately give the chiropractor another listen, or maybe see a different one just to be sure..

Best of luck to you dear.. Please keep us informed..

[Camazotz]

I've had problems with chronic pain./fatigue myself- about 7 years of feeling awful until things really started to turn around a lot.. was basically told by my doctors that they couldn't find any reason- to the point where they started asking if it was psychosomatic (which is just beyond insulting when you're feeling that way). What helped me was looking at alternatives- aryuvedic medicine took away a tonne of the pain where western medicine did nothing, reiki healing contributed a lot and then I guess the final key was just sheer determination to not leave my life in the hands of these people whom I had no faith in whatsoever.

I'd suggest asking around to see if anyone in your area can recommend a good reiki healer or acupuncturist or something along those lines and get another opinion that way, alongside demanding to be referred to a specialist to see if your own doctor has missed anything. When it comes to chronic pain there's so much that they still don't understand, but if after every test and seeing a specialist all they can suggest is staying on pain meds then you really should find out what your other, alternative options are and decide which you want to try.

Good luck with things and please feel free to drop me a PM anytime if you need to vent or whatever.

Cama

[Vicereine]

My husband suffers from chronic neck pain as well. He has been subject to rigorous testing for a while now and several different ciropractors and is now under a neurologist. Thankfully it turns out that the most sever worry they had is not actually true for him, and its most likely a throw back from a car accident he had 8 years ago.

The discs between vertebrae 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 are misaligned, so he basically has slipped disc problems like some have with their back. His CT scan showed that one is pushing on his spinal chord mildly and at the moment doesnt look too dangerous.

Unfortunately he is a refirbishment site manager in London and this means a lot of manual work. When one of the discs move slightly, he is literally disabled and I become his full time carer until the disc has settled back again. I may not experience it first hand but I know how much pain he gets in. So my heart goes out to you. As with everyone else. My PM box is always open.

[Alyushia]

I have chronic pain, and it can be very difficult to live with. I find that meditation helps me somewhat.

[dreamguardian1]

Thanks everyone for the feedback. MLE, i am researching the empathy thing much as i can atm. As for the Fibromyalgia posting you hit it dead on the head. That was the incoming diagnosis after all the tests came back. I can now put a name to what is going on. Although im not happy about it Doc has put me on 7.5/325 Mg X2 every four hours of Norco plus 1200 MG of Ibuprofin Daily 600 mg x2. ALthough this helps A LOT with the pain. It doesnt help with what is internally going on.

If anyone remembers a few positns back on a different thread i was talking about how its easy for me to project and take in to others and workers have even gone home sick. Well it happened again Friday. My boss totally pissed me off and i just looked at her and my insides just flew with rage but i kept it quite, bundled up my papers put them on her desk looked at her and walked out of the office. I knew somehting happened there but i couldnt put my finger on it, she went home an hour later with a massive migraine and was feeling ill. This is Not the first time this has happened. Karma? me? Not sure but it happens too much to be a coincidence. Its not that I try to do these things they just happen but when it happens makes me feel like a bad person.

[Alyushia]

Ask your doctor about Skelaxin. I have Fibro (among other things) and it helps with the spasms I get. It is one of the better muscle relaxants.

As far as the other issue, I have no suggestions except for meditation, which can help you to control those that a bit more.

Good luck...

[shadow]

my friend who had it used to get massage therapy done like twice a week and it helped her alot and made it to where she didnt have to depend on the meds as often.

[MLE]

I'd say if you can find ways other than meds to deal with it you should look into it. With most serious health issues, often meds and some kind of alternate method work well together. Finding a good experienced chiropractor that also has a good knowledge of holistic medicine could also help a good bit. Just be very thorough in checking them out.. There are a few frauds out there too.

As for the empathy thing I may have a few techniques that can help you out. I've had quite a few problems with mine when I was younger, due to it being so overly sensitive. I'll try to put it all together in a pm or a post sometime soon. It's pretty simple stuff.

I am glad to hear that you at least know what it is now, and if there is anything I can do to help please let me know. My pm box is always open.

[dreamguardian1]

TY MLE, and everyone else, my boss has not come to work in the past two days she has called in sick and my other supervisor has not been feeling well so i didnt go into work today i stayed home and worked from home. I did go for a walk the other night through Golden Gate Park again and just felt everything around me, for a few hours there it felt so good. Ill do a posting later aout my family and its past which may shed some light on things happening to me in my life atm. Right now though dont have the energy. Although for the first time in days my cats are bouncing off the walls, having fun and have had energy. Casper my one cat was very sick the other day, i just held her for a few hours at a time and pett him and cried over him i thought he was going to die. His head was jerking when when he walked and stood up so all he did was lay down. Now, he back to normal just a little bit of TLC and a lot of energy towards him which is what i should be directing at other people not anger energy.

[Alyushia]

I tried all of the other routes for treatment of my pain. (I have Fibromyalgia and Reflex Symapthetic Dystrophy.)

Reiki helps a bit.
Meditation helps a bit.
Visulisation helps a bit.

I have finally had to resort to medication. Even with those things, I sometimes sit with tears streaming down my face wondering if I can make it through the next day like this.

There is a good site on Fibromyalgia (keep in mind though, that it it partially sponsored by a pharmaceutical company). It gives a LOT of good, current information about the disorder.
http://fibrohope.org/fibro_story_5.asp

One thing I HAVE found, is that fighting it and getting angry makes things worse. I did that for years.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't do anything to try and get better, or that you should never feel upset about being in pain...but when I am angry everything tightens up, which makes the pain worse.
Don't get me wrong, there are many days I fall into the "why me, damnit!" mindset. *sighs*

I have learned instead of fighting it so hard, to accept and learn to work WITH it to find ways of easing it.

One of the hardest things is accepting that you may have chronic pain. Perhaps that is one of the lessons of chronic pain....acceptance.

[dreamguardian1]

MLE, still waiting on that thread for meditation guide:p hehe When u get time hon:p

[MLE]

oh yeah.. I nearly forgot with everything going on at home just now.. sorry hun.. Everyone I know almost is having birthdays just now, including my mom, son, grandmother, and myself, so its been a bit hectic. I'll try to pm you soon hun.

[dreamguardian1]

So im reviving a very old thread but its still relevant, i know my time on here is sporadic but i just spent two months in the hospital. So docs now have me on two more medications. SOMA 350 MG 2xs daily and Diclofenac 75mg every 8 hours this is in ddition to Fentanyl 100 MCG every 2 days, Norco 7.5/325 2 pills every 4 hours, then regular Vicodin 5mg/500 every 2 hours. My apt looks like a pharmacy. PLUS i have to see my doctor every 2 weeks now because he is afraid im getting so depressed over the pain and amount of medication im on ill take my own life. Although i think about it sometimes i wont do it, i can remember when i tried it seeral years ago and i dont want to go through that again those damn doctors never give up and i dont want to end up on life support again. Im starting to think that there is more at work here than just physical. Im sure most remember my life with my parents who are Satanic, when i ran away because i couldnt deal with the abuse anymore my mother told me i would die "Alone, afraid, in pain, and in darkness I would dwell". I have had friends come over who are Pagan and even they have said the feelings they get when they walk into my apt are overwhelming but they cant pinpoint it. One friend has agreed to come and help "cleanse" my apt but there are some things she says i need to do first she just hasnt told me what yet. Sometimes i think im looking for answers that just are not there. But i do notice that wheni go out like to the forest/woods, along the beach and meditate or am one with nature and take in the positive energy a lot of the pain goes away. Not all of it but enough to keep me going. I finally have Preists im added to my yahoo so i can learn to block negative energy flowing in and learn how to control my irratic feeding off of others. I actually before i went into the hospital for tests and stuff didnt go to work for 3 weeks beause i was feeding again erratically off anyone and everyone around me just to keep going. Unfortunatlry i work in a Mental Health Clinic so the energy flowing around there isnt positive.

Which reminds me, MLE did you find that item we were talking about yet. Or is that you who i added to my yahoo messenger MLE? DeadpoolVampyre? I might have gotten you and preist mixed up lol..

[dreamguardian1]

Ok i think i got the yahoo im thing straightened out once i checked my inbox. So it is preists i have on yahoo i just havent received MLE's yet for yahoo. Sorry gusy with the pain meds sometimes things get backwayrs

[Camazotz]

Hiya hun.. good to have you back with us, though I'm sorry to hear things haven't looked up yet.

I know this may not have a major effect, but might be worth getting some plants in your house- having something living can make a big change to the energies, especially if it's not possible for you to get out and about as much as you would like.

Crystals will also help to soak up some of the negative vibes- as long as you remember to cleanse them frequently.

As for cleansing the house in general, sage smudge or pine are very good for this. Think there are posts elsewhere on that, but if you can't find them drop me a line or ask Preist- he'll set you right on it.

If you can afford to and can find a good teacher (sometimes hard to do) it may also be worthwhile considering learning some form of energy based healing. You dont have to have the intent, or study so far as to be doing healings on others, but even just for your own self- for example doing a reiki 1st degree. I'm a reiki and seichem master and as well as using them for healing, the energy can be directed for cleansing rooms, removing negativity etc. Also, if you're on a lot of different medications, the reiki energy can help the body to cope with all the various toxic side-effects to the system- quite often secondary pain can build up as a result of the effects of all these western meds.

My yahoo is lagrimondesangre btw if you want to add.

Cama

[MLE]

sent you a message hun.. hope it helps.. Cama has made some excellent suggestions also.. I would definately trust her input..