Lauren
01-26-2007, 04:15 PM
It is human nature to focus on what's wrong. Afterall, how can you fix something if you do not know what to fix? Sometimes, however, we focus on the "wrong" to the extent we overlook what's good. It is important to keep those things in mind too since, when making the changes to correct what does not work, we do not want to lose the things that do, or the things that make us strong.
It is no different for us here at Nox or in the vampire community. I've observed at least three threads specifically devoted to what's wrong with the vampire community and we've certainly voiced our opinions on that, with the three threads having 37, 51, 23, replies, respectively, and at least other threads made for other purposes, that turned into, or included more of what's wrong. There is NOTHING wrong with that. In fact, it's an element of what's right. Rightly, our strengths should be those things we keep firmly in mind because those will be what forms the foundation. With that solidly lain in place, we can correct what is wrong and build a strong and sound community.
Still, we do need to remind ourselves and each other of the things that are right, the things we have retained or made better. This is a matter of balance, and if we forget to look at what's right, we inundate ourselves with the negativity, and eventually have what we are starting to see now... discouragement, placing of blame, hopelessness, and a feeling of helplessness.
So, what is right in our community?
Knowledge. At no time in our history have we ever had such knowledge and the sharing of that knowledge than we do today. Most of us, who have any chronological age to us, know what it was like before the advent of the internet. We struggled on our own, learned by trial and error, sometimes with devastating results... and we did it alone. Today we have the means to come together and share, and encourage, and help each other with problems we face and we do it from the very real benefit of experience. We've learned many things that work for us, and those things have made our lives easier, and better, and more comfortable... and even safer. We have the ability to continue to share that with many more than we already have. The sharing of this knowledge, which will only grow, and help more and more is very right for us individually and collectively. We've shared information that has and does help us keep safe from disease. We have learned ways to manipulate our surroundings to help us through cravings and weaknesses, to strengthen us until we can find what we truly need, which has brought us a greater level of comfort. We have found friendship, and comraderie which has helped us to feel less alone and given us more options. By sharing of information, we've learned that even more is being learned, and with each bit of new knowledge, we grow even more and find more comfort and safety and understanding, and thereby, less fear and confusion.
We have created more awareness, both for ourselves, and for others not part of our community which has made tolerance and acceptance more existant. I admit, we still have much further to go, and it's by far, perfect, but I'm sure each of you can think of ways your life has been better since promoting awareness of our kind. I can remember a time when just mentioning real vampirism would spark a war, and while it's still a touchy subject, it's much easier to bring it up and discuss it today. I can remember a time in my own life when just admitting to one silly symptom of this condition, incited anger, disgust, and abuse. Now the mention of it, while still, unaccepted, brings little more than ... "do you need medication?", or strange looks. Annoying to be brushed off or not taken seriously? Hell yeah, but it still is an improvement over attempts to have one committed, or having one's property vandalized, or physical assault. I know it still goes on, but in my own life, I've seen a decline in the worst cases of intolerance. How many of you can see even the slightest change in your own lives?
Elders... Yes, There is something right about our "elders". These people are doing a lot of things right and I believe given time, and support, they'll do even more. What we often forget is that even though we call them elders, many of them are young in physical years. They're people who admit they do not consider themselves "elders", yet the community needed leaders and when some of us came looking to them for guidance, they took that resonsibility on themselves because someone had to. Even those who are older, are relatively new to running and building a community... their knowledge is strong in vampirism and the things that affect us, but many of them are still gaining wisdom in other areas and they're doing their very best to build something they dont fully understand. I'm not putting down our elders, but at a time when they're still testing beliefs, and growing in maturity, they're taking on their shoulders the responsibility for a whole group of people and I'll tell you that is a huge burden for anyone, let alone someone still struggling to find wisdom in their own lives. It's easy for you, and hell, even me to sit here and type out these long diatribes because when it's all said and done, the responsibility for success or failure of these posts to make a difference, isn't on our shoulders. I can spend my hour writing this, and I'll either get a pat on the back or someone will say I'm an idiot... but when the community succeeds or crumbles, no one will remember my name or blame me for its success or fall. THESE people, often young people, are the ones who will be remembered. Believe me, it is not an easy job. These are the people who, without any manual, or instructions, or basis for which to build, have cared enough to build what they thought would work. Now they're seeing it didn't work as they thought it might, and they're struggling to make a new policy. It was thrust on them just as quickly as it was when they built the first community and now they're faced with... "we have to do something now". If we look deeper, though there seems to be much confussion about which way to go, and each elder seems to have a different idea on what will help the community, they're all thinking, they're all saying ... "I'm sorry it didn't work" and most of them are taking the blame saying they were wrong. That tells me these people are NOT the arrogant leader who demands to be heeded. They're listening and this TOO is making things more confusing. They are taking into consideration each suggestion and trying to please everyone because they know the more agreement they find, the more people will get behind what is being done. Mind you, they wont find a system that pleases everyone but what is right is that they CARE enough to try and they're being real about it.
There is something inherantly right about the bickering, long discussions, and heated debate in our community. Oh, I knew when I said that you were all going to say "Okay, She was doing good but now she's totally lost her mind" but, far from it. While the bickering and arguing can cloud our judgment and can distract us from our purpose, it does show that what we care... and we ALL care. We care enough that we're willing to annoy someone and bring disapproval to ourselves, in order to be heard and hopefully help make a change. I've seen this sort of restructuring done in other communities and I've seen many of them crumble because the community didn't care enough to get their hands dirty. They simply faded back into the shadows having the attitude, "we did it alone before, and we'll do it again". THIS community seems to realize what would be lost by moving back in time to when we were solitary and without the strength of the group. Many of these members have some very good instincts and strong insight. Some of them have said some very profound things. It's hard to notice it sometimes when one is trying to see past the anger and frustration that saturates the message, but it's there. The anger and frustration is but proof of the care and love they have for this community. People simply do not exert themselves or spend emotions on things they do not care about.
I truly believe in this community. I see the confusion and I see the frustration and I see a community going through the natural reactions that come with great change or restructure. This change is very much in its infancy and this stage of the change is normal also. THIS is where we look at both what is right and wrong because we must know that before we can decide what changes need to be made, and how to make them. This is also usually the hardest stage of change. Let's look at it all, lets remind ourselves and each other of not only what needs changing but also, those things we hope never change.
Once we can do that, we need to decide where we want to go, what goals we want to reach and THEN it will be easier to build the society we all wish. Even so, I reiterate, it's going to take all of us working together, each doing our best individually, for the benefit of us all.
Lauren
It is no different for us here at Nox or in the vampire community. I've observed at least three threads specifically devoted to what's wrong with the vampire community and we've certainly voiced our opinions on that, with the three threads having 37, 51, 23, replies, respectively, and at least other threads made for other purposes, that turned into, or included more of what's wrong. There is NOTHING wrong with that. In fact, it's an element of what's right. Rightly, our strengths should be those things we keep firmly in mind because those will be what forms the foundation. With that solidly lain in place, we can correct what is wrong and build a strong and sound community.
Still, we do need to remind ourselves and each other of the things that are right, the things we have retained or made better. This is a matter of balance, and if we forget to look at what's right, we inundate ourselves with the negativity, and eventually have what we are starting to see now... discouragement, placing of blame, hopelessness, and a feeling of helplessness.
So, what is right in our community?
Knowledge. At no time in our history have we ever had such knowledge and the sharing of that knowledge than we do today. Most of us, who have any chronological age to us, know what it was like before the advent of the internet. We struggled on our own, learned by trial and error, sometimes with devastating results... and we did it alone. Today we have the means to come together and share, and encourage, and help each other with problems we face and we do it from the very real benefit of experience. We've learned many things that work for us, and those things have made our lives easier, and better, and more comfortable... and even safer. We have the ability to continue to share that with many more than we already have. The sharing of this knowledge, which will only grow, and help more and more is very right for us individually and collectively. We've shared information that has and does help us keep safe from disease. We have learned ways to manipulate our surroundings to help us through cravings and weaknesses, to strengthen us until we can find what we truly need, which has brought us a greater level of comfort. We have found friendship, and comraderie which has helped us to feel less alone and given us more options. By sharing of information, we've learned that even more is being learned, and with each bit of new knowledge, we grow even more and find more comfort and safety and understanding, and thereby, less fear and confusion.
We have created more awareness, both for ourselves, and for others not part of our community which has made tolerance and acceptance more existant. I admit, we still have much further to go, and it's by far, perfect, but I'm sure each of you can think of ways your life has been better since promoting awareness of our kind. I can remember a time when just mentioning real vampirism would spark a war, and while it's still a touchy subject, it's much easier to bring it up and discuss it today. I can remember a time in my own life when just admitting to one silly symptom of this condition, incited anger, disgust, and abuse. Now the mention of it, while still, unaccepted, brings little more than ... "do you need medication?", or strange looks. Annoying to be brushed off or not taken seriously? Hell yeah, but it still is an improvement over attempts to have one committed, or having one's property vandalized, or physical assault. I know it still goes on, but in my own life, I've seen a decline in the worst cases of intolerance. How many of you can see even the slightest change in your own lives?
Elders... Yes, There is something right about our "elders". These people are doing a lot of things right and I believe given time, and support, they'll do even more. What we often forget is that even though we call them elders, many of them are young in physical years. They're people who admit they do not consider themselves "elders", yet the community needed leaders and when some of us came looking to them for guidance, they took that resonsibility on themselves because someone had to. Even those who are older, are relatively new to running and building a community... their knowledge is strong in vampirism and the things that affect us, but many of them are still gaining wisdom in other areas and they're doing their very best to build something they dont fully understand. I'm not putting down our elders, but at a time when they're still testing beliefs, and growing in maturity, they're taking on their shoulders the responsibility for a whole group of people and I'll tell you that is a huge burden for anyone, let alone someone still struggling to find wisdom in their own lives. It's easy for you, and hell, even me to sit here and type out these long diatribes because when it's all said and done, the responsibility for success or failure of these posts to make a difference, isn't on our shoulders. I can spend my hour writing this, and I'll either get a pat on the back or someone will say I'm an idiot... but when the community succeeds or crumbles, no one will remember my name or blame me for its success or fall. THESE people, often young people, are the ones who will be remembered. Believe me, it is not an easy job. These are the people who, without any manual, or instructions, or basis for which to build, have cared enough to build what they thought would work. Now they're seeing it didn't work as they thought it might, and they're struggling to make a new policy. It was thrust on them just as quickly as it was when they built the first community and now they're faced with... "we have to do something now". If we look deeper, though there seems to be much confussion about which way to go, and each elder seems to have a different idea on what will help the community, they're all thinking, they're all saying ... "I'm sorry it didn't work" and most of them are taking the blame saying they were wrong. That tells me these people are NOT the arrogant leader who demands to be heeded. They're listening and this TOO is making things more confusing. They are taking into consideration each suggestion and trying to please everyone because they know the more agreement they find, the more people will get behind what is being done. Mind you, they wont find a system that pleases everyone but what is right is that they CARE enough to try and they're being real about it.
There is something inherantly right about the bickering, long discussions, and heated debate in our community. Oh, I knew when I said that you were all going to say "Okay, She was doing good but now she's totally lost her mind" but, far from it. While the bickering and arguing can cloud our judgment and can distract us from our purpose, it does show that what we care... and we ALL care. We care enough that we're willing to annoy someone and bring disapproval to ourselves, in order to be heard and hopefully help make a change. I've seen this sort of restructuring done in other communities and I've seen many of them crumble because the community didn't care enough to get their hands dirty. They simply faded back into the shadows having the attitude, "we did it alone before, and we'll do it again". THIS community seems to realize what would be lost by moving back in time to when we were solitary and without the strength of the group. Many of these members have some very good instincts and strong insight. Some of them have said some very profound things. It's hard to notice it sometimes when one is trying to see past the anger and frustration that saturates the message, but it's there. The anger and frustration is but proof of the care and love they have for this community. People simply do not exert themselves or spend emotions on things they do not care about.
I truly believe in this community. I see the confusion and I see the frustration and I see a community going through the natural reactions that come with great change or restructure. This change is very much in its infancy and this stage of the change is normal also. THIS is where we look at both what is right and wrong because we must know that before we can decide what changes need to be made, and how to make them. This is also usually the hardest stage of change. Let's look at it all, lets remind ourselves and each other of not only what needs changing but also, those things we hope never change.
Once we can do that, we need to decide where we want to go, what goals we want to reach and THEN it will be easier to build the society we all wish. Even so, I reiterate, it's going to take all of us working together, each doing our best individually, for the benefit of us all.
Lauren