How do you deal with liars....?

[darklin]

Im refering to my own personal experiences with this one.Being a prity strong empath myself i find it very hard to keep my mouth shut when i know someone is lieing to me.If its someone that i know and love then it hurts to know they are lieing and then if its someone i dont particulrly get alone with then i have to summon every bit of grace i have to keep myself from just say"Oh would u give it a rest u liein b*****d"but for some reason i manage to for most of the time keep my cool and just go with it.Sometime i wish i didnt have the ability to see through people the way i do because i get myself into situations that cause me pain.I have in thepassed made judgment on some poeple to others and they cant understand how i could be so sure about someting and i get look on as a bitch until it comes to light that i was right but then its just forgotten.
I just wanted to find out really how others cope with there empathic abilitys.
Do you sometimes let ur mouth rule ur head?
Or are u really good at keepin ur cool?
Has it ever caused u to loose a friendship?
Im an aries so as u can appreaciate i find it very hard to keep shhhh but i can be very descreat if i have to be;)
Darklin
xxx

[Camazotz]

It can be really hard when you know someone is looking you right in the eye and spouting BS, especially if it's someone close to you.

For myself, I guess I try to take it on a case to case basis, are they telling lies possibly for some reason (which doesn't necessarily justify it, but makes sense) or are they just lying for the sake of it/for attention/etc.

Mind you.. saying that, even if they feel they have a good reason it can still be very hard to listen to without opening your mouth on the matter.. so really that's not much help is it? lol

Cama

[gypsy mouse]

cant stand liers.. love busting them in it... if the person is in my life and i cant shake them i have no problem telling them to put a sock in it. its usually the case that they think their lives are soo uninteresting that they need to invent things to glamorize or gain sympathy.. friggin pathedic if you ask me.. i dont care what th eexcuse is, life is enuff without havin to compilicate things...i have no time for people like that. if its a new friend that has been discovered to be a friggin lier...let them know it aint flotin with you.. take it or leave it..relationships that mean anything at all are built and thrive on honesty (leson learned) if its people that surrond you (aquintinces) screw um!! your to busy in your on life to waste time on that. yes ive lost many friends over lies, but is it really a friendship if it goes like that... im a gemini...dont know what that means besides i act like i have a split personality...... maybe thats why im so damn out spoken and refuse to put up with silly high school games and lies.....to much life to live.

oh...if its a lie for a reson.....try to figure out why befor ecompleatly writing anyone off....theres useally a reason for everything.. think of why the lie had to be told.. if the reason is stupid...well you know... just try to put yourself in anouthers shoes first... many times its just because.. but sometimes theres a much deeper reason.. (cry for help maybe?)

[darkangel]

I can't deal with liars. Whenever I know one of my friends is, i have to say something. I'm not rude about it but I give them hints on knowing that I'm not buying it. I'm really a patient person so sometimes I'll give someone a chance to tell me themselves the actual truth. I remember in the past though i did have a problem with speaking without thinking. That got me into trouble a lot but I been able to control myself now. I have lost friendships before since I can't be friends with liars. Doesn't work for me at all.

[darklin]

I myself have a low tolerence for BS but i will over come and adapt to my surrounding and if it is possible for me to be abrut then i will be but more than often i find myself not having the right or the grounds to be mouthin off.I do try to think before i say anything but being the way iam i either let them know very clearly that i think there liein or i keep my mouth shut to keep peace in the situtation i find myself in,such as it being a friend of a good friend then i wouldnt say anything but i would intervean if i thought that what they were lieing about would affect my friend directly.
Theres alsort of sitisations u can find urself in i surpose it just knowin how to handle them all with a differnt out look for each.
Thanks for the feed back guys;)
Darklin
xxx

[Preist]

yuo know in the past i had to deal with alot of BS and even from my self but i tend to go towards funny bs that can be laughed at like convincing someone that a totaly fake film is actualy based on a true story but hey terminator could have happend and hey if she was dump enough we all got a god laugh

but on a seriouse note theres no point in hinting to someone that there talking bull or giving them chances on it when you know the facts of it and all you can smell is the stong haze of what was that yes it was hmmm it smells like shi** then most times i smile and nod and walk away saying nothing because it dosnt affect me from them but sometimes it does when someone claims something and has done it for attentoin for what ever reason it kills me a little inside because i had to go through something similar with good freinds even an EX so i know what is involved but they cant help it and it all comes out for simpathy

again i will say i smile nod and walk away because if i didnt my anger would gte the beter of me and then at the point i lose control i feel like i have lost something of my self over it

so to those who BS for attention i salute you for the sheer balls of your statments and wonder why you can live with your self by your claims I COULDNT

Preist

[darklin]

I have found that the saddest thing about people who find it compusary to lie is that they have almost convinced themself of what they are liein about.Its true that some people live there lives tellin lies about what they do are and have but the only reason they do this is because deep down they are lonely and have little to nothing else to do with there time.They feel so insignificant that they feel the need to make up stories about there lives and about most things that happen day to day.Even the smallest of things they will lie about.It would seem that we ignore this factor and just go into attck mode because we tire of these types of people and i do agree that there are some peeps out there that really get off on coming up with some cock and bull story just for the attention they get be it possative or negative but there are the ones that are really hurting inside and this is there way of trying to be accepted into socity.My wee peice of advice to people that do lie on a day to day basis is to look inside urself and think b4 u do.Try and shine through with ur own individuality and ur own experiences regardless how insignificant u may think u are.Theres hope for everyone and everyone is entiteled to a second chance in this life.
Darklin
xxx

[kyuuketsuki_kurai]

Liars get me in trouble. I have very low tolerence for it, and I end up getting in fights. Oftentimes, physical.

[Dreamsinblack]

I always know when someone I know is lying. I never tell them outright though, I'm good at finding a way for them to reveal it themselves. Being about to read people has its perks at times.

[Riana]

When people lie to me, especially one of my friends who always lies when it will benefit her, i let her lie, she's the one who has to deal with her lies and her conscience. It's really not my problem. And if i know someone i don't like is lying, instead of getting mad, i argue there point and make them look like a dumbass. its kinda fun...you should try it.

[MLE]

I usually get sick to my stomach when someone I care about lies to me. Thats usually the first thing to tip me off when it happens. Often times I wait to see how it will unfold. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt untill they take advantage, and I usually don't hand out second chances.

[incubus]

Sigh , most know how I deal with this. I deal with it on the lvl they lied to me.

I have so many times been fucked over one way , yet respect them in another... not an easy task.

Guess best way put it, if you fuck me personally , I hate ya personally , you fuck me proffesionally I hate ya proffesionally.

[darklin]

I must admit im still realy torn with this.I dont have many close friends but thats of my own choosing.One of my close friends is really tryin my patience at the minute and im finding it really hard not to blow up in her face.Shes all of a sudden started talkin to me like im stupid and its irritating the shit out of me.Ive never had insticts this strong before,ive always been empathic/psychic but its becoming more up front in my own mind.Its getting tot he pont where as i dont want to be around people because sometimes u get the images and the thoughts that arent urs to know and i feel im invadin sometimes.Even when the emosions are about u and maybe sometimes therenot always so good and it hurts u but in the end they have the right to think the silent occasional bad thought about u because not everones perfect and i cant say i dont piss people off with the things that i say now and then i can be sometimes a little insensative to others but its not ment that way.I guess it comes back to what i said before about the invading others thoughts and emosions maybe i just need to try and shut it off a little harder.Ive tried but it still gets through reguardless.Any tips would be good;)
Sorry guys i guess i just needed to vent a little lol Im feeling much better now and have nearly forgotton what i came in for lol
Love and respect
Darklin
xxx

[Camazotz]

*hugs* Sorry to hear this hun.... I think there's a lot of strangeness going on with people at the moment if that helps any?

If you need to vent you know where I am..

Cama x

[darklin]

Strangeness i will totaly agree with hunnie!
I feel as if my patience is being pushed to its limits just now lol
Tis a while since i saw my empathy as a gift :(

[DesirDoux]

I know this is an old thread but I did a search and this is the one most apt for my dilemma.

I suppose its a dilemma of my own making as I could walk away from it.

Someone I truly care for lies and denies they do. Thing is I have feelings for them and find it hard to express how it makes me feel. But its screwing me up inside, to the point I feel physically sick.

Being empathic can be difficult as you know, but it seems I am also prone to bowts of paranoia, and to differentiate empathy from my own paranoia is a chore at times.

I really dont know why I am actually posting about this lol, but even as I write I know my empathy is screaming at me to wake up and smell the coffee.

I suppose what Im asking is when in a relationship, does anyone else get effected by their empathy in negative ways?

Desir

[Craze]

How do I deal with liars?

I don't. Let me explain.
Once I have proof in my hands that anyone has lied directly to me, and on purpose, that person ceases to exsist to me. I never speak to them again, nor do I talk about them aside of to explain why I no longer speak to them, which usually consists of two words: They lied. maybe its harsh, but to me, there's enough idiocy and bullshit in the world without having to deal with liars as well. If I wanted people in my life that wouldn't be honest with me, I'd still talk to my mother. lol

[Alyushia]

I have had to work in jobs that included working closely with people that lied to me. I found the best way for me to handle that is to let them believe that I don't know they have lied and let them get caught "accidentally".

If it is someone I care about, it hurts a great deal. I usually try and talk it through with them in order to try and save the relationship. If it happens repeatedly I will generally remove myself if I can...at least emotionally.

I care about VERY few people in this world. That may sound cold, but given my past it is not surprising.
Those few have the ability to hurt me.
The rest do not.
*smiles sweetly and innocently*

[Vicereine]

it depends on how much the person means to you. Personally I have been through hell alot of times because I know someone has lied to me, for two reasons, one that i can understand on some level the reason behind it and two that i have no way to prove that they have lied. (im a sucker for having proof).

Someone I loved a great deal, lied to me in horrendous ways for a long time, and i never picked up on it in any clarity (love can blind even an empath at times ;) ) then when it became to much and i discovered the level of deceit it broke me and I had to walk away.

Thing is since then, i have been able to interract with people (friends) that I know are lying but maintain an emotional distance. Sometimes you outgrow a friendship, sometimes they just change.

[Alyushia]

I have been able to be around some that I had cared deeply about and found they lied to me, but I distanced myself emotionally.
Relationships do change.

[Craze]

The way I view it is this: If I meant as much to them as they did me, they would be able to give me the one thing I demand from anyone I speak to: Honesty. If they can't give me that, then they're not worth me stressing over.

[Alyushia]

Everyone is different in what they will tolerate from others.

My personal opinion is that everyone is "fucked up", and all we can do is decide if we can tolerate that particular brand of "fucked up". It is different for everyone.

If I demanded that anyone I was around was absolutely honest I would be living in a cave with 20 cats, I'm afraid. lol

It doesn't mean I trust them. I trust VERY few. In fact I could probably count them on one hand and have fingers left over.

People even lie to themselves. *shrugs*

The thing I have difficulty tolerating in people is intentional cruelty. That is my
issue that I choose not to deal with any more than necessary.

[MLE]

Everyone is different in what they will tolerate from others.

My personal opinion is that everyone is "fucked up", and all we can do is decide if we can tolerate that particular brand of "fucked up". It is different for everyone.

If I demanded that anyone I was around was absolutely honest I would be living in a cave with 20 cats, I'm afraid. lol

It doesn't mean I trust them. I trust VERY few. In fact I could probably count them on one hand and have fingers left over.

People even lie to themselves. *shrugs*

The thing I have difficulty tolerating in people is intentional cruelty. That is my
issue that I choose not to deal with any more than necessary.

I really couldn't agree more.... That's pretty much me in a nutshell. lol, my sis and I actually joke around about that all the time..